Pain

This is horrible, I can't think I can't concentrate and I don't know what to do. My heart aches so bad for Jason and the turmoil he's going through. It's hard though; I mean I don't even want to talk to him until he's finished with the school. It's not that I don't want to be there to support him or comfort him, I do. I just don't want to be another conflicting force. I don't want to say anything that may interrupt what he's being taught; maybe I should stop reading all these psychology books. I keep thinking about how families should raise children and the detrimental things they can do to a child, even subtly. Parents should be loving and firm, not telling children how to live “their” lives. I believe God will lead you in the path He wants you to go, but you have to listen to Him. “[He] will put the laws upon their heart, and on thier mind [He] will write them". Tyler told me one time (before we even started going to church) that God was talking to him, and I asked him how, he told me “God is talking to my heart”, I think we get so caught up in life that we forget to be still and listen. I know I’ve been struggling with that, I’m so busy making sure I’m doing the “right thing” for my children, and our future, that I am giving God what’s left of me at the end of the day, and that’s not much. I feel like I should be giving so much more, but I don’t feel guilty about it, more saddened and inspired to increase my time with Him. Especially right now.