Dylan is FOUR!!!

Tennessee Snowman

For those of you that have doubts that about whether or not there is a god, let me tell you there must be. My children burned (melted...?) the arm of my couch and not only did I not kill them, I didn't even yell! Don't get me wrong, I get irratated as crap when I see a big, huge burn spot on my $700 couch! But, somehow I'm not boiling mad... (those of you who know how I was about my couch when I first got it will understand the miracle of this!!)

For Cass

Doing math... and I'm bored, don't even want to do it, funny how things that would normally be enjoyable become so mundane... I need to get over it, any suggestions?

AHHHH!

These kids are crazy! They made a friend the other day though. I hired her to be my helper for a few days a week, maybe that'll help me and the boys! Parenting was definatly not meant to be a one person job! They're super excited today becaus ethey got their presents from grandma and grandpa. "LarryBoy" mobile and a flying something! I thought this weather made me crazy! These boys are 20 times more crazy than me!!!

Pain

This is horrible, I can't think I can't concentrate and I don't know what to do. My heart aches so bad for Jason and the turmoil he's going through. It's hard though; I mean I don't even want to talk to him until he's finished with the school. It's not that I don't want to be there to support him or comfort him, I do. I just don't want to be another conflicting force. I don't want to say anything that may interrupt what he's being taught; maybe I should stop reading all these psychology books. I keep thinking about how families should raise children and the detrimental things they can do to a child, even subtly. Parents should be loving and firm, not telling children how to live “their” lives. I believe God will lead you in the path He wants you to go, but you have to listen to Him. “[He] will put the laws upon their heart, and on thier mind [He] will write them". Tyler told me one time (before we even started going to church) that God was talking to him, and I asked him how, he told me “God is talking to my heart”, I think we get so caught up in life that we forget to be still and listen. I know I’ve been struggling with that, I’m so busy making sure I’m doing the “right thing” for my children, and our future, that I am giving God what’s left of me at the end of the day, and that’s not much. I feel like I should be giving so much more, but I don’t feel guilty about it, more saddened and inspired to increase my time with Him. Especially right now.